How To Handle Child Tantrums
Have you ever seen a baby crying, kicking, hitting etc…? It initially looks good and sweet, but as this continues and the baby does it for a longer period, showing no signs of cooling down, then this ends up causing frustration among parents. These activities are nothing but ‘CHILD TANTRUMS’.
Child Tantrums are not diseases. They are a medium by which a child expresses that he/she is angry,dissatisfied or upset about a particular eventor an activity. Child Tantrums is not only about crying, kicking, hitting, but it can also take the form of screaming, falling down, stiffening limbs, running away. In many cases, children tend to vomit, hold their breath. Tantrums form a normal part in the process of child development.
CAUSES FOR CHILD TANTRUMS: –
Tantrums are not uniform among different age groups. They differ from each other. It is said that Tantrums are vastly common among children of age group 1-3. Later, it slows down as time passes.
- Considering the infants, who are developing socially, it can be said that tantrums form only ways of expressing. It can also be said that they are evaluating their freedom.
- Among Infants, it is most commonly seen that they out-bust when they cannot cope up with someone. For example: a preschooler might have trouble coping when someone tries to take him/her away from his/her parents.
- Speaking of older children, it can be stress, tiredness, excitement etc..; these are conditions which cannot be expressed easily.
- One thing which is the common cause among both is, strong emotions like a feeling of being shy, shame, fear, fret etc..,
- Another reason can be an unpleasant atmosphere, like suppose while traveling there is a lot of honking or any unpleasant sound etc…,
MEASURES TO AVOID TANTRUMS: –
Tantrums are natural actions. Though it cannot be stopped completely, effective measures should be taken to make them less likely to happen. Some measures are as follows: –
- Encouraging Positive Attention and Avoiding Negativity: – Get used to the habit of appreciating your child when he/she is being good with others. These are signs of positive parenting, which in return encourages them to do better. There are incidences when imposing negativity on children affects their behavior with others. For example: Quarreling among parents, Family tensions etc.., can be a path by which the child gets caught with Tantrums.
- Discourage the Act, Not the Child: – We often come across scenes where parents discourage the child because of his/her actions towards others, for example: addressing them to be a bad boy/girl in the presence of everyone. This may offend the child as he/she may conclude it to be shameful. This should not be encouraged. It should be made clear to the child that his actions are immoral, and he/she is a good child.
- Divert Your Child’s Attention During Tantrums: – This works especially with the toddlers as they possess a short attention span. If you find your child uncomfortable with an activity, just distract him from it and quickly shift to something else. For example: if a child breaks his toy accidently, pick him/her from there and engage them with something else. If a child is not comfortable with a place, take him to a different one.
- Do Not Encourage One Who Obstinate: – There are situations when children opt for Tantrums when they want their needs to be satisfied. For example: On a visit to a market, when a child starts crying and shouting for an ice-cream although you have said ‘NO’ to it, don’t end up buying it for him because he realizes that Tantrums can get the work done, and uses it for every small thing which later becomes a habit of the child.
- Avoid Negligence and Know When to Negotiate: – Promises for a child are like agreements. Parents, due to some commitments, busy schedules forget these promises which sow the seed of tantrum in the child. Special measures should be taken by the parents to overcome these problems. Sometimes Negotiations can avoid tantrums, for example: suppose a child is watching his/her favorite show on the TV, the time allotted to him exceeds the limit. Allot additional time to the child which makes them happy, which later avoids tantrums.
- Ignorance May Form Best Solution: – It is usually seen among children that if they are upset/angry about something, they tend to express more of it if they are given much attention with intention of calming them down. In such a situation, it is better to leave them alone for some time, undisturbed. If the child starts shouting louder, throwing stuff etc.., give him/her a time-out. During this time, make sure that you teach him/her that the act performed by him was not respectable.
- Do Not Bust Out With Anger: – One of the important characteristics of parenting is ‘Having Patience’. During the period of tantrums, keeping in mind that the child is frustrated, speak as soft as possible to the child, even though he/she yells at the top of their voice. This also applies in public places. It is acceptable that breaking down at public places is wrong, but also shouting at them, over there is also not a right act.
Tantrums are not permanent. They are usually seen among the toddlers. As the kid passes the age of 3-4, they start to gain self-discipline by which they learn to cooperate and communicate with others which results in temporary tantrums.
To sum up, Tantrums are a part of childhood. Children learn from them. In many cases they tend to be memories in many lives. In today’s world, parents carry a lot of stress with them which initially leads to stress in a toddler’s life. If they spend more and more time understanding their children, their likes, dislikes etc.., Tantrums count will be less. There is a famous quote by Robert Breault which states, “Treat a difficult child the way you would your boss at work. Praise his achievements, ignore his tantrums and resist the urge to sit him down and explain to him how his brain is not yet fully developed”.